These titles were previously published individually as eBooks. Jacket illustration © Cliff Nielsen be judging him. —What Really Happened in Peru. The Bane Chronicles 1: What Really Happened in Peru ebook by Cassandra Clare, Free Four - Tobias tells the Divergent Knife-Throwing Scene ebook by. Buy The Bane Chronicles 1: What Really Happened in Peru: Read Kindle Store Reviews - bvifacts.info $ Free with your Audible trial One of ten eBook short stories in The Bane Chronicles, a series about the .. Download.
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What Really Happened in Peru (The Bane Chronicles, #1) The Runaway Queen (The Bane Chronicles, #2) Vampires, Scones, and Edmund. The Infernal Devices. Shadowhunters: The Infernal Devices (Series). Cassandra Clare Author (). cover image of What Really Happened in Peru. What Really Happened in Peru. Shadowhunters: The Bane Chronicles (Series). Book 1. Cassandra Clare Author Sarah Rees Brennan Author ().
Ever since Magnus quipped about being banned from Peru, readers were not surprised, but curious to hear how our favorite warlock got himself banned from an entire country. He seemed more over-the-top than usual. It became both funny and thoughtful. While Bane may seem ridiculous on the surface, he is a deep person and has years to gather knowledge and insight on life and love. I really enjoyed the emotional moments as much as the funny ones. Jesse Williams did a fine job of both playing up Magnus Bane and toning him down at the right moments. But in the case of The Bane Chronicles , this works for me, especially the audiobook.
In most cases Magnus also acts the same and we don't really get to know any new people and these two warlocks serve to point anyway despite Ragnro being Magnus's opposite and Catarina kissing Magnus's ass.
And where are all the warlocks of Peru anyway? We never meet any warlock we didn't know from the Mortal Instruments already. And that is the problem: Not only are their names as stupid as that of Magnus, but we also either knew them or knew of them from the Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices. Why not some new warlocks? If that is the character Clare had in mind when she decided to pair him with Alec in Mortal Instruments no wonder she did it, in this book he seems like Jace 2.
His attitude, his behavior, that all reminds me of Jace and Will. It seems like the same character, again. He is just as annoying, arrogant, selfish, shallow and fickle, not to mention to be completely incapable of seeing his own flaws.
Also he seems very grafted and not developed. If the authors wanted to make him sympathetic, they failed, they failed miserably. I never really liked Magnus in the other books because I thought he acted like a child and here it is even more so.
I can't say too much now, I will leave that for the spoiler section, but I can say this: While reading this I just too often thought "What an asshole. The funny thing is that some parts of the book I actually had to laugh at. It was in many ways written like a parody or a general sitcom or comedy. And as funny as it was, that is the problem. It is supposed to be a book that gives you insight into an actual character.
A character that is not from any comedic genre and thereby it fails in itself. This Magnus, and many of the other characters, are usually not real people.
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They are caricatures and nothing more. Several times the thought "what did they smoke" crossed my mind. The characters don't really develop, a lot makes no sense or has no relevance, there is weird language and weird characters, with Magnus being the worst, and no real sense behind it all.
We don't really get to know anything about Magnus we hadn't known before. It is overall a very useless book, except as an example on how not to write and how gullible and crazy fans are who likes this. If you want to read it, get a copy from a library or lend it from a friend, but don't waste money on this, it is not worth it.
Much of what they write doesn't make sense and too often I asked myself whether they even can write and how much research of the respective time periods did they even make. A lot of the book was just cheap attempts at reader manipulation in my eyes and it was so obvious, that was the worst. There is one thing I just noticed: For someone who supposedly made such a big deal to have Magnus played by Godfrey Gao in the upcoming movie and have Jem be portrayed by an Asian model on the cover of Clockwork prince albeit they didn't get his hair or eyes right it is surely weird that for this cover she didn't seem to have bothered to get it across.
Sure it is obvious that the character is neither African nor Australian but still, what is he? I think this is intentional and stinks of the practice of not wanting to show Non-White models on the cover. Ok, I will leave the rest for the spoiler and stop here or otherwise I will spoil it for everybody.
Ok, now to the main part of my review, I guess it is more than the book is worth but seeing all the praise here for such a bad book I could not do any different but take notes while reading this, and I actually don't want to. Someone has to say it. This must have been the worst review I ever made; because the book is just… how can you do so much wrong in so little time? How is that possible?
So this here is the short version, if you want to read the long version you would have to read it on my Deviant Art Journal: So this version here is actually the version suitable for children. Well, see for yourselves if you dare, but be warned out there will be spoilers and possibly strong language, depending on your age group: So again be warned, if you loved Magnus in the other books, for whatever reason, you might be disappointed and possibly enraged by this.
Ok here we go! Obvious and stupid manipulation Like I said the book's attempts at manipulation are very cheap and obvious and numerous, but there is a character limit here.
It already stated with the preface when it states that it was such a sad moment for Magnus when he was banned from Peru… You know it always seemed to me in the Mortal Instruments that this particular piece of information was rather there for laughs, so why it is now used for something supposedly sad is kind of beyond me. You would think that Magnus's background provides for more but apparently not. I guess his childhood was not interesting enough for something called "The Bane Chronicles".
The authors do it later as well by coming with the whole stuff with his mother and father, but here is another problem: The book tries to sell it that he was heartbroken after one of his flings Imasu dumped him and he got all deep about maybe warlocks becoming to detached from humanity to be lovable and all.
Maybe I would by it if he would act according to supposedly being heartbroken. Totally useless in my eyes since the whole book it's pretty obvious that other people are there for Magnus's amusement.
Too much acceptance There are several cases where normal people were simply far to accepting about the weird and unusual around them. Despite not being glamoured Ragnor's deep green skin was simply accepted and later Magnus's gay relationship with Imasu seems to be way too much accepted considered the time and area.
I mean wasn't Peru mostly catholic at that time? During a dance with some unknown girl he uses magic to literally set the girl's skirts and his own coat on fire so that both become actually spinning towers of flame and the girl he danced with had thought it was some marvelous trick. She had been enveloped in real, bright fire and she had tipped back her head and laughed What??? Were these writers on pot or something? What did they take that they think anybody, especially from that time s from Peru would react that way?
Why would Ragnor's parents at first thinking he was a faerie child be any help in those days? There were stories a plenty in Europe about stolen and replaced babies, so why should the parents not have thought that Ragnor was not their child?
By the way, of course Magnus looked like a normal baby at first, only later did his cat eyes develop. Wow, how convenient for him.
The romantic interest is the pretty one, wow, so typically Clare. They call that good writing? The demonic languages they name are Purgatic and Gehennic and Tartarian … Apparently they cannot come up with something more original than the languages based on purgatory, gehenna and tartarus. And speaking of unoriginal: They could not come up with a concept, or at least a better term, than jaguar demon? Do they even try? Speaking of bad terms and concepts: Just some???? You think your child is demonspawn, something feared all your life and leads to all sort of cases of hysteria and only some children got abandoned or killed?
They wrote The monkey advanced, chewing in a menacing fashion. How do you do that? How is it possible to chew in a menacing fashion? How does that look? Did he have a menacing facial expression and chewed or what? And it doesn't stop there: He heard it in hot pursuit and fled faster … If that was the case why was the monkey suddenly gone when Magnus bumped into Ragnor during the flight?
And why did he flee anyway, he was ready to fight a jaguar demon but would not fight a monkey? Ragnor himself reminded Magnus that he can do magic and all Magnus said was: I am not going to ensorcel a monkey!
Honestly, Ragnor. What do you take me for? Why not? He has no problem ensorcelling humans, so why not a monkey? He could have made it temporarily dizzy or hang in the air, nothing that would harm the monkey but give Magnus time to escape. So why not? Or does magic suddenly have bad side effects for non-warlocks which we never were told about?
We are told that Spanish was the first language Magnus learned to speak after his native language. And what is his native language?
We are never told, again. Later we are told about the Dutch and Batavian blood in his veins. So does that mean he is from Jakarta? Since Batavia was Jakarta's name during the Dutch colonial empire. So what is Magnus's native language? Is it Malay? Was Magnus supposed to be serious when he referred to guano as bird droppings? Was that another example of his "humor" or of the author's incompetence?
Actually guano is the feces and urine of seabirds, cave-dwelling bats, and seals. And here is the other problem: And here is the problem: For that guano would have to be liquid. But guano was sometimes literally mined. And that is not a word you use for liquids, no way. So guano was dry actually the ideal type of guano is found in exceptionally dry climates so apparently you cannot sink in , it was collected.
What tantrum, where did that come from? In the sentence before that Ragnor only said that he wanted to go home, while stuck deep in guano. So where did it come from? Did Ragnor suddenly have a tantrum? Did Magnus? What happened? They never explained that. What is a swift economical gesture? Does that mean his hand barely moved? What does that mean? And I never before read or heard the something like Imasu's mouth curled beneath Magnus's.
And there is more: Geoffrey had the nose of a man who never shut up??? What kind of sentence is that? Is that even a legitimate sentence? How many even know that this word exists?
Also to say that Magnus was still growing back then you would not have needed that word. Magnus can create an earthquake on accident? Then why were his talents so underused in the other books?
And not only that, in this book it is stated He could make music flow from the air or the river or the curtains if he so chose. Again, if he can do all that, then why was it not used more in the other books?
Apart from the fact that he would have to play extremely loud for his melody to be carried out over the lake water, we are also not told what melody it is; fast or slow, stakkato or what? The book mentions how Ragnor's and Catarina's skin forced them to live a life of solitude, before they were able to make glamours to hide themselves, and apparently Magnus did not have to.
Ok, sure blue and green skin is a bit more obvious than cat eyes, but still, they are cat eyes. There is no way that you would mistake them for human eyes, especially when they are described as gold-green, slit-pupilled.
Apart from the fact that the authors reveal their ignorance regarding cat eyes and how they function the pupils are only slits in direct bright light such eyes are pretty obvious, so before glamour or sunglasses came into his live Magnus would have only been able to watch things from afar, never really participating in anything, but apparently the authors do not consider that.
The stuff with Magnus' "music" was actually extremely funny, but that is also the problem here. You see the book is neither a sitcom, nor a parody or any other sort of comedy. I had to laugh out loud at this, I couldn't help myself.
Actually the whole book would be good for a comedy. But it's not and that is the problem. It is supposed to be taken seriously and in a realistic setting. But you do not write stuff like that in a serious book when you want to have the readers sympathetic to a character or inform them about character background and live stories.
You do that in parodies. In real life people acting like Magnus are… What the heck, just look at point 5 of this review than you will know what I mean.
Magnus Bane himself And of course there is the biggest problem with the book is Magnus himself. I have no idea why people love this guy even after all that.
Like followers of my reviews know I was never much of a fan of Magnus, but that was mostly because he acted like a spoiled teen, but this book made him really unlikeable to me.
His whole character is so incredibly flawed and seems to have no actual redeeming qualities. He constantly moans about it when people say hurtful comments about him, but based on how he acts their stance is totally justified. And who is Magnus to judge? He constantly insults and tricks Ragnor in the first chapter and it's no better afterwards, even when Ragnor asks him not to.
He doesn't treat Catarina that much better. It often seems as though Magnus lacks empathy of any sort. He constantly seems to want to be complimented, he cannot stand criticism and he acts like an asshole even to his friends. If the way he treats Catarina and Magnus is how he treats friends, I ask myself what he does to his enemies.
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Magnus acts totally reckless all the time, apparently even before the events of And he is so full of himself and arrogant. And so shallow. It doesn't seem to be conceivable to him that someone would prefer Ragnor with his green skin over Magnus. In this book she lets him lie on purpose about his age and states that it is a habit of him since an early age and that he never dropped the habit. If that is what he does, then apparently he also lied to Alec, the boy that is supposedly so important to him that Magnus would give up his immortality for him.
No matter what happens due to his god awful music he just doesn't get it and to make it clear his music caused a riot, crying children, withering plans and fleeing cats and lamas. But wow when he gets criticized, then he acts like a child and doesn't want to hear it. Only his new fling Magnus started music just to impress him can convince him.
And then Magnus actually gave music up way too easily considered what he did before. And if this is not convincing enough listen to what the authors wrote after Imasu said that: Magnus made it his policy to listen to people who were kind, encouraging, and extremely handsome. Do I really have to say anything about that?
Not that I think their relationship is great, because while Magnus told Imasu about his Dutch and Batavian blood he didn't bother to say anything about his demonic parentage or magic. Does he think the guy is stupid? Also if Alec from the Mortal Instruments was so right for him why was there no mentioning about Magnus wanting to tell Alec about his past? I guess readers are supposed to believe that he "learned his lesson" so to say and that in Mortal Instruments he did not want to rush things or so, yeah right.
If that was what the authors wanted they did a pretty bad job. I guess the whole break up was there so we are once again supposed to feel sympathetic to Magnus and maybe I would be if he didn't act like an asshole all the time anyway.
But in either case it is, like so often in this book, clear that Magnus considers you a friend if you are kissing his skinny ass and an asshole if you dare not to. The Magnus Bane in this book is a backstabbing, shallow, whimsical, ungrateful, everything fucking egomaniac. View all 36 comments.
And the reason is Who knows? Magnus not and neither CC does. But if Magnus doesn't know why he was banned Just too confusing! View all 6 comments.
Apr 16, Mitch rated it liked it. Nothing apparently. View all 9 comments. Aug 02, Kai rated it did not like it Shelves: Probably the worst thing Cassandra Clare has ever written. The plot is weak 2.
Happy Release Day: The Bane Chronicles: What Really Happened in Peru
The jokes are forced and therefore not funny 3. The whole meaning of this short story is a mystery to me 4. Magnus Bane is horribly boring and repetitive and annoying as hell Find more of my books on Instagram.
View all 4 comments. Jan 27, Stephanie Bookfever rated it it was amazing Shelves: I have just finished Clockwork Princess before I started this. Let's say I was in need of a Magnus fix after that. How I loved this ebook about how Magnus got banned from Peru. Everything from Magnus himself to his friends to the setting to everything they do was just so much fun! And with fun I mean monkeys, llamas, freaking flying carpets and what not!
I simply adored Ragnor Fell or as I will call him from now on my little cabbage. With his green skin and slightly suspiciousness towards Magnus he's one hell of a travel companion which brings us to Catarina Loss. I really liked her. She's awesome with her blue skin and white hair. I bet she's really pretty!
But of course it wasn't all fun and games. Sometimes there were sad parts, however they weren't frequent or anything. And yet, I feel so bad for Magnus. But anyway, this was a great short story all about Magnus Bane's greatness and I can't wait to read more!
Apr 19, Stacia the club rated it liked it Recommends it for: Only die-hard Magnus fans. This is the actor playing Magnus in the upcoming Mortal Instruments movie. Isn't he lovely? Two words about What Really Happened in Peru: Fun Forgettable This is a short story which takes place pre-Mortal Instruments. As many short stories go, it's not much more than just a collection of brief extras, showing Magnus in a few adventures while out on his own.
You will not have needed to have read either the Mortal Instruments or the Infernal Devices series in order to read this, but I don't see why t This is the actor playing Magnus in the upcoming Mortal Instruments movie.
You will not have needed to have read either the Mortal Instruments or the Infernal Devices series in order to read this, but I don't see why the story would be all that interesting to anyone who doesn't already have a love for Magnus. As well, there are brief mentions of characters from other series not having to do with the story, however , that might fly right over your head if you don't know who they are from reading the companion books.
If you can't get enough of Magnus, you'll enjoy this collection of short stories. Otherwise, don't feel pressured to have to read this. It's not a "have-to" in order to keep up with the world. Not that I was complaining about having to spend time with Magnus or anything Feb 22, xrysa rated it it was amazing. Magnus is a magnificent warlock and one of my favorite characters in the "shadowhunter-world".
I never thought that Ragnor could be funny and I have to admit that his sarcasm left me smiling. I love Magnus because he is the madness personified. He wears weird mexican hats and he's being chased by a view spoiler [monkey! Magnus is falling in love and he is going crazy. Learning to play the charango is something that he likes but the whole town doesnt approve. All I have to say is that Magnus is amazing and I cant wait to read more about him!
View all 33 comments. Apr 04, Christina rated it liked it Shelves: Even in the midst of heartbreak, you could still find yourself laughing.
This short story is simply a compilation of different trips that Magnus took to Peru over the span of many years, with fellow warlock friends.
The adventures they'd had The heartache he experienced while there. So why did Magnus become banned from Peru? That remains a mystery to us all Oct 10, Melanie rated it it was ok Shelves: They could only hope what they made would endure.
In , with Ragnor Fell, and taverns, and monkeys, and pirates! Then we get to see Magnus in with Ragnor and Catarina, where Magnus is accepting a mysterious job. Then we jump to when Magnus meets Imasu and we get to see him drinking, riding magic carpets, mentioning people from TID, and falling in love. Lastly, we see the year , where Magnus meets a person named Kitty who is also a con-artist, a thief, and someone who is looking for love and adventure.
View 2 comments. Mar 31, Radmila rated it really liked it Shelves: Magnus Bane is one of my most favorite characters from the Mortal Instruments, he is flamboyant, brilliant, dashing and sarcastic.
During the entire time reading the Mortal Instruments, we were teased with the knowledge that Magnus has been banned from Pe 3. During the entire time reading the Mortal Instruments, we were teased with the knowledge that Magnus has been banned from Peru so I was quite excited to jump into this little novella. Magnus takes us through his Peruvian shenanigans beginning with , then throughout the years of , and There is no shortage of entertainment, with his partners in crime, Ragnor Fell and Catarina Loss.
Not to mention his stint with the monkeys, the ship and lets not forget the charango. But in the end I was a lil bummed, we got a whole lotta history but never the real reason Regardless it was a fun listen, the Narrator depicts Magnus and his cohorts so well, it just makes you settle right in for the ride.
View all 23 comments. Apr 26, Christine Riccio rated it it was ok. Was expecting more, but it's always fun to hear more about Magnus and his life. I just posted my booktalk, lets discuss it!
View all 17 comments. Apr 01, Gemma marked it as to-read Shelves: Does anyone else get the feeling that Cassandra Clare is writing elaborate, published fan-fictions of her own novels? Like, everything she's published and planned since City of Glass was released? About two years ago before City of Fallen Angels and then Lost Souls which view spoiler [brought an unpleasant maybe-end to Magnus and Alec's cute little romance hide spoiler ] , I would have been all over these.
Now that things have gone downhill and Magnus got decidedly less cool after the last Mo Does anyone else get the feeling that Cassandra Clare is writing elaborate, published fan-fictions of her own novels? Now that things have gone downhill and Magnus got decidedly less cool after the last Mortal Instrument book I probably won't be downloading any of the Bane Chronicles any time soon. Unless City of Book 6 is awesome. Actually, I don't even know. The first three MI books and the Infernal Devices with the possible exception of Clockwork Princess, which I haven't read were great the last time I read them, about two years ago, but if I read them now, I'm afraid I'd find that I'm outgrowing all of them.
I'm really torn over my feelings on Cassandra Clare as an author. Half of the Internet sings of her glory and brilliance, blind to any of her faults and sorry, she has them , with Clare-fangirls jumping on any of her critics with the ferocity of a rabid wolverine, and just as blind to reason. On the other hand, we have numerous people drawing comparisons between Clare's works and Harry Potter, Star Wars, Buffy, etc.
Not just similarities, but the direct copying of dialogue and plot devices, as well as people claiming that in real life, she's kind of a, um, not very nice person.
So I don't know exactly where my opinion of her is, which is why I'd really appreciate is if, as an author, she moved out of the comfort zone of her little Shadowhunter sphere and started a new series.
That way we can see Clare's actual abilities as a writer, not just how long someone can make money by milking the life out of an old idea that may or may not have been truly hers in the first place.
And fangirls, sit down. I have an entitlement to my opinion, just like you have yours. I'm not necessarily wrong just because I'm voicing something different from what you think. If you want to debate me, that's great and feel free to do so. But come on, guys, just like in Kindergarten: Or at least steer clear of stuff like 'uRso Stupid! View all 11 comments.
Part of The Bane Chronicles. Unabridged Audio Download. Price may vary by retailer. Add to Cart Add to Cart. About The Book. About The Authors. Cassandra Clare. Sarah Rees Brennan. About The Readers. Jesse Williams. Product Details.